Unexpected

You assume certain things in life will happen. Get a job. Get married. Have your heart broken. Have kids. What you don't ever plan for is being told you have cancer. Getting a divorce. Burying your child. Never have I felt so hopeless as I sat with my oldest and dearest friend on the floor of her kitchen the day Cory died. I had prayed for the right words to say but really there are no words just stupid, numbing silence. I would have done anything for Nicole that day and in the following week. I waited for the slighted request and would do it faithfully. I desperately wanted to carry Nicole all through the visitation and funeral. I just wanted to fix what had happen. There was nothing I could do so I ate and ate. I ate for the comfort I wanted Nicole to have. I ate to know I was alive. I ate because I didn't know what to do. Fast forward 10 months and I have put on 12 lbs! It's time to stop turning to food and turn to walking this large marge. I think of Cory everyday And i don't think she would be happy that my sadness over her passing and Nicole's percurlious state at times brought on this weight gain. Cory, if anything, was fashion savvy. To honor her memory would be shopping the new trends for a body that was in much better shape. All this was so unexpected but today I can control what goes in my mouth and how much I move.

This has been a word from Nicole