We have a Pope!!!

Last week when word came that the Catholic church had a new pope i was literally on the edge of my seat. Would they pick an Italian? Would we have our first black pope? Or would they go totally crazy and vote in Cardinal Donnell from America to be pope? Not even close. They have given us a man from Agentina from the order of the Jesuits. What we know is he is a humble man, an intelligent man a man who is for the poor, the least among us. I am so excited to see what he will bring to the Chair of Peter. I feel an energy for my church that I haven't felt in years. So much seems to be riding on the shoulders of this ordinary man that was called to serve mankind. Please God do not let him faultier.

Back in 2005 when Pope John Paul II passed away I mourned for him as one would for a favorite uncle. I remember thinking, "Who will look after us now?" I had admired Pope John Paul for so long I could not imagine anyone taking his place. Now that Pope Francis is here I feel once again being looked after. We have our shepherd here on earth guiding us towards Christ. Yesterday, Pope Francis said,"God never tires of giving his mercy but it is us who tire of asking for it." Yep, Pope Francis had me at "hello"

Voice

My voice is soft if at all. In fact, at this moment I have no voice. I am not talking about the sound of omy voice but what I have to say, what I need to say. When it comes to to defending myself, standing up for myself my voice is not inside me.  Why? I know why. My parents indirectly taught me how to lose my voice. I remember quite vividly my parents setting my older brother down at the kitchen table and just laying into him. Questioning, digging for answers that even I knew he would never give them a satisfying answer. I also knew not to walk into the kitchen least I get a disapproving look. I knew to keep quiet. More quiet than I already was. I did not want any attention on me. Hearing them and hearing my brother made me so nervous. I screamed inside at my brother, "shut up! Don't say a word. It will be over quicker if you just stay quiet."   Never would he keep quiet. Around and around they woul go.
Fast forward to adulthood and Marry someone who is quite vocal when mad. Sometimes all I can do is cringe and what for his yelling to subside. Keep quiet is my manta. It's all I can think of , even when when I am sure I am in the right I will rarely spit out words to fight back. Days later I wonder why I didn't open my mouth. Where is this strong woman I dreamt I would be? When does your inner scared child ever grow up?

This has been a word from Nicole