Monday, December 27, 2010

there is a time for everything

i was once one of those annoying people. you know the kind whose best friend was her sister. the kind who did everything with their sister. i felt sorry for those who did not have a close relationship with their sister. i thought i was very special. now i see maybe it wasn't supposed to be that way. maybe we were too close. maybe now it's supposed to be like this. a little distance. new friendships to form with other people. maybe this is how other sisters are. jim and his drinking put our sisterhood on a whole new level for years and now his drinking has put it back to where it was supposed to be all along, i guess. i miss that closeness. i miss that look, the kind i would know exactly what she was thinking or she knew exactly what i was thinking. i miss my playmate that i would drag out into the world or stay close to in her home. now we are just normal. no longer special, just like everyone else. the time has come to change. to spread my wings and embrace all that i have missed while she and i were wrapped in her cocoon. she can have kevin and all that entails and i will have my life and all that entails and that will be alright. the death of something, even just figuratively, is painful. i have mourn my loss and accepted what has become of us. we are just sisters. sisters with husbands, kids and bills. we are just sisters who call every now and then. just normal sisters.

this has been a word from nicole

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